Going back to work....

When I first found out I was pregnant, I had a plan.
I felt as though I needed to work out straight away where my dates would sit (Due date, Maternity Leave dates, 2011 Term dates) because being a teacher I knew that I would financially NEED to work at some point. So I sat down with B and we discussed what the options would be and came up with the following.

• I would try to work until the end of Term Three 2010 (My maternity leave was supposed to start two and a half weeks prior to this)
• If I did work until the end of Term Three - My mat leave would last us until after Xmas :)
• I'd go back to work part time at the start of Term 2, 2011 when our little man was 6 months old.
• We'd hopefully be able to have our mums look after him for a couple of those days - and he'd go to the childcare centre near my work for the remaining days.
• I'd try and pick up some CRT (casual relief teaching) during first term to cover some bills (and my ever growing shopping addiction!)

This way I felt as though I was able to dictate the terms of my returning to work - I wanted to go back before it was financially a necessity if you know what I mean. I'd still get to have my days with the little man, but also be financially secure enough to live our lives the way we want to! Holidays, dinners out! etc.

So anywho the time to return is creeping up on me! I am starting to feel a bit anxious - maybe even guilty. I don't want to leave my baby - but at the same time I think I'll enjoy the adult interaction. I don't know how to feel!

My MIL is going to be looking after the little man on Wednesday whilst I do a day of CRT (Casual Releif Teaching). I'm kinda excited that I am going to be teaching - my first day since early September. I'm looking forwad to doing what I have now made as my career. I have been told that I'll be teaching grade two - which is my favourite year level :) So there are positives to the day!

I know the little man will probably be fine. That too makes me sad. I love the smiles I get each day - the selfish moments that I have with him all to myself - the things that only we share. I don't really want anyone else to have those moments with him :( I know that it is selfish but........

I don't really know how I am going to cope - It's only 8 mintues from home so that is reassuring. I know that the money will come in handy. It will be enjoyable to interact in a professional capacity.

Those are the facts - but I'm going to be missing my little man all day long - but looking forward to all the snuggles and smiles that I will get when I return home...

xx