SAHM Vs Working Mum

Why is it that when we give birth we automatically inherit mothers guilt??
As I wrote about a while ago - I am back at work part time. 3 days a week. I'm a teacher so the hours are pretty reasonable, holidays are awesome and money isn't too bad but I hate leaving my little man.

So I'm wondering - is it just because he is 8 months old?and I feel like I'm missing so much or will I feel like this forever! guilt, guilt, guilt

I love it when I pick him up from daycare and he is so excited to see me :) but then I feel guilty that I haven't spent the day with him. Obviously when I think rationally I tell myself I'm working so that we can do more things as a family, have more money and be in a better financial position for the future but it still sucks.

I try to make the most of the days I have off by doing things with him, visiting other bubbas and friends but also love just staying at home and enjoying the simple moments we have.

I guess I just don't want to miss those 'firsts' with him.

xx

Can we move? Please :)

B and I are thinking about moving.

I love our house - but with the little man working towards becoming more mobile I'd like some more space. I also want to be able to have a backyard for him to go a little crazy in! At the moment we have a small landscaped yard with a deck. Not really enough room for a little boy to play on swings etc.

So begins the dilemma. I think I'd like to keep this place and rent it out (as it is very low maintainance) but in order to do that we would have to find a bigger place for rent. We probably want to stay in the same area - just upgrade on space :)

Obviously I don't want to be losing money - it would be awesome to be able to rent/rent out our place for the same amount. So now starts the research process! Any tips??

I'm thinking we also need to look at a property management company? I really want to protect myself from any hassles. So it is kinda exciting but scary at the same time. I'm hoping it will also help us get into a better financial position too! thinking of tax breaks etc. But honestly I don't know how that all works! Research research I guess!

If any of you have any advice hit me up ;)

xx

Being a working Mumma

Wow. Back to reality and man it is hard. I knew it would be a little more stressful but...Wow!
So I ended up working two days this week as a CRT (Casual Relief Teacher). One at my school and one at a school 5 mins from home. I have to say that even working from 8:30-3:30 I am exhausted.

Work is different now. It's a totally different experience. When I'm not doing hands on teaching I'm thinking about the little man and the things I'm missing. Then when I do have a lunch and snack break I'm expressing. So I end up spending most of the day holed up in a classroom. It's a bit of an anticlimax to returning to adult conversation. I was literally in the staffroom for 10 minutes today - to put expressed milk in the fridge and to pee :)

I enjoyed the teaching though - especially with the kids from my school as it is a cohort of students that I taught for two years, so they know me and I know them and there was no real 'challenging' behaviour from any of them! But expressing in the breaks is hard work. I'm really hoping that by the time I go back 3 days per week that little man has dropped one or two feeds and is on some more solids because I don't think I could handle doing this forever!

The hardest part I think - getting home and not being able to switch off and chill out like I am used to doing after work. Little man wants to play, dinner wants to be cooked, nappies to wash, bottles to sterilise, house to tidy ahhhhhhhhhhhh it never really ends!

So awesome walking in the door to my happy little man and his massive smiles! God I love that kid :) Lights up my life! Makes it alot easier knowing that his is being an angel for his Gma while Mumma is at work! Two days again next week and that should pay my car rego/insurance :) I'm thinking of the moola!!

xx

Going back to work....

When I first found out I was pregnant, I had a plan.
I felt as though I needed to work out straight away where my dates would sit (Due date, Maternity Leave dates, 2011 Term dates) because being a teacher I knew that I would financially NEED to work at some point. So I sat down with B and we discussed what the options would be and came up with the following.

• I would try to work until the end of Term Three 2010 (My maternity leave was supposed to start two and a half weeks prior to this)
• If I did work until the end of Term Three - My mat leave would last us until after Xmas :)
• I'd go back to work part time at the start of Term 2, 2011 when our little man was 6 months old.
• We'd hopefully be able to have our mums look after him for a couple of those days - and he'd go to the childcare centre near my work for the remaining days.
• I'd try and pick up some CRT (casual relief teaching) during first term to cover some bills (and my ever growing shopping addiction!)

This way I felt as though I was able to dictate the terms of my returning to work - I wanted to go back before it was financially a necessity if you know what I mean. I'd still get to have my days with the little man, but also be financially secure enough to live our lives the way we want to! Holidays, dinners out! etc.

So anywho the time to return is creeping up on me! I am starting to feel a bit anxious - maybe even guilty. I don't want to leave my baby - but at the same time I think I'll enjoy the adult interaction. I don't know how to feel!

My MIL is going to be looking after the little man on Wednesday whilst I do a day of CRT (Casual Releif Teaching). I'm kinda excited that I am going to be teaching - my first day since early September. I'm looking forwad to doing what I have now made as my career. I have been told that I'll be teaching grade two - which is my favourite year level :) So there are positives to the day!

I know the little man will probably be fine. That too makes me sad. I love the smiles I get each day - the selfish moments that I have with him all to myself - the things that only we share. I don't really want anyone else to have those moments with him :( I know that it is selfish but........

I don't really know how I am going to cope - It's only 8 mintues from home so that is reassuring. I know that the money will come in handy. It will be enjoyable to interact in a professional capacity.

Those are the facts - but I'm going to be missing my little man all day long - but looking forward to all the snuggles and smiles that I will get when I return home...

xx