I have always imagined that when I became a mother that I would breastfeed my baby. Little did I know how hard it would be.
It's like some taboo subject - no one speaks about how difficult it can be, or how tiring it can be.
I love my little man and I love having the bonding time with him but at times I feel like I want to scream! especially when he latches on, then lets go, latches on, lets go and so on!
I always knew that my life would change drastically when I became a mum, and I guess the hardest thing for me at the moment is that I am the source of food for him. He relies on me and I feel like I have no freedom, that I'm sort of trapped if you know what I mean?
B is awesome - I express a feed every day so that he can get up and feed our little man in the night, and he is happy for me to go out and he will stay with bub and give him an expressed bottle, but I feel a little resentful towards him - I guess because he can choose to pop out for a couple of hours without having to plan ahead and ensure there is enough expressed milk etc.
I love being a mum and I really don't want to put my baby on formula - he is doing so well, putting on weight and feeding pretty well most of the time - I feel guilty even writing all of this......
- Does it get easier? - Will I feel less frustrated about exclusively breastfeeding? - Am I selfish? -
Food for thought?