This might be a long post - I want to tell you a story about a friend of mine :)
At high school There were 6 of us in my main friendship group - We were all friends, and at different stages over the past 17 years I have been closer to a few of them.
In high school I also had some other friends that weren't really part of this main group. One of those girls (we'll call her Sam) I would consider one of my best friends to this day. I've been through heaps with Sam and her family. When her parents were getting divorced she spent the holidays with my family, we regularly stayed at each others houses and I guess you could say we were always on the same wavelength. Well that's what I thought anyways.....
Sam is one of those friends to me that people often talk about. That friend who you might not see or speak to for 6 months, but when you it's like you spoke to them yesterday. They just seem to 'get' you.
Three years ago Sam had a baby and I couldn't have been happier for her. By this stage I had moved about an hour or so away from where we had grown up, and she had also moved about 30 minutes further into the country. I guess I'm trying to paint a picture here - Let's just say it was an 'effort' to get to her new place.
I worked full time, but I still made the 'effort' to get there and visit her and her gorgeous bub. This kid had spunk, so cute and an awesome little personality! I loved spending time with them. Unfortunately when the bub was about 6 months old Sam and her partner had a bit of financial trouble and they moved back closer to the suburbs we had grown up.
It was at this point for me that the friendship escalated. I supported her through the situation, took days off work to help her, bought groceries for her, and spent lots on her bub - buying clothes etc. I'm sure you get what I'm trying to say here - I was there for her, no matter what.
B and I were engaged and living together at this point. We were saving for a house deposit and I was organising our wedding. He didn't really agree with me buying stuff for Sam - but I didn't care. My friend needed me.
I never realised how much Sam let me down until B pointed it out one day. We were getting ready to go out for dinner to celebrate my birthday with friends when my mobile beeped for an SMS. B called out "Sam's not coming". I had my phone with me - he wasn't reading the text - he just knew. He pointed out the last 5 or so significant events in my life, birthdays, engagement party, hen's night. 'Was she there?'. It was the same story each time. A text an hour or so beforehand cancelling.I made excuses for her - 'she has bad health' and our night went on.
Fast forward 3 years - I have a new baby - weird thing is our bubs have the same birthdate.
I still live an hour or so away from her. She is a stay at home Mum.
How many times has she seen the little guy? Once.
I know people get busy, I know I live an hour away, but once??
Again with the excuses - I'm scared to drive on the freeway, I get lost coming to your place...... and yet on FB I see that she has been to the beach (which is 15 minutes from my place), the Zoo (I'm in the same suburb)......
B tells me to give up on her, cut the friendship loose - 'Why are you still spending so much on presents for her kid?', 'it's not reciprocated and shes taking advantage of you!'.
Is she? I don't know.
17 years of friendship.........
Do I let go?